First Impressions

Before I get started, let me just calm everyone who was concerned. You no longer have to worry… The Mullet is still alive and well in Russia!!!

So, let me get everyone caught up really quickly… I’m in RUSSIA! It is just so amazing. One, I never thought that I would really move to another country, and two I never thought that country would be Russia. Alright, now that we have that taken care of lets actually talk about what it is like. In every letter I have written to my family or friends, I have been sure to mention how wide-eyed I am walking around. There are so many things that are just the same in a place that is half way around the world from my home, but then, when you take away the physical things the differences can be overwhelming. I am in a place of constant judgment. It is a hard place to be in, but a place that I feel is common to all when in a new place. I am trying not to make my judgments from a “better than position”, but rather just something that is part of my process as I take in so much that is foreign to me. I was able to pull back and slow down, see how much instant judgment I was making and realized that what I don’t understand is for me to try and understand so I can then make a further decision on it. I guess I have just relied on others to always prove their case to me about their actions and try to convince me that they were right, but who am I to demand that. I was raised in a house where every action, answer, decision, and breath was judged. It left no room to just be, and you were always on the defensive. What I now know is that it is very hard to see the beauty in life when your always defending yours.

Alcohol is everywhere. You can buy beer in hot dog style carts, you can get plastic jugs filled with draft beer at the grocery store, you can board a bus three sheets to the wind with an open container, you can stand in line in the post office and have a tall boy open and waiting for you to finish your business in your tweed jacket pocket, and you can walk down the street gracefully stumbling through traffic as you knock back your thirty sixth beer of the morning. I was actually surprised how little vodka there was and how much beer there was. But it is not just the sheer amount that I have noticed, it is the mentality of it. While being interviewed by a state doctor to check if I was in acceptable health to obtain a temporary residence permit the question asked was not, “do you drink?”, but, “when did you start?”. It was not, “do you have a problem with alcohol?”, it was, “do you have problems functioning(will it interfere with work)?”

As I said above, I am in the process of applying for a temporary residence permit, which is just like a temporary green card in the States. I just keep checking off things on my list of situations I never thought I’d been in… this one is “Emigrating to another country”. Not only is it a weird idea to me but also to others. People can’t seem to understand why an American would want to be an immigrant. When I explain that it is really for love it also confuses them, I mean they understand, but its just not a luxury they have. Most people in the world cannot just pick up and follow someone they love. Instead decisions to leave ones family behind is only made is search for a better life, a better wage, or the option to support said family back home. If there is one thing I am becoming more aware of here it is how lucky I am. At an outing with a large group of new friends last weekend I was asked if I was concerned with weather or not I would be able to have a good job and house and be successful. I said “NO!” and I realized in the instant that I saw all of there reactions just how grateful I was. I am a white male, American, and have two parents with college degrees, and a mother with two or three(I should know this) graduate degrees. All things are in my favor. I am not saying that I will touch down in the states and a red carpet will be rolled out for me, but I am able to sit comfortably with the belief that I will be successful in life, not only monetarily, but in the much more important aspects… Love, Friendship, Happiness, Family. Someone once asked me if I would like to live forever and I said, “No!” I guess I say that a lot. But when he asked why I wouldn’t like the opportunity to do things over constantly, to fix mistakes, to have the opportunity to do anything I wanted because time wouldn’t run out – the only thought in my head was because I knew that this life was going to be so great. That I was going to be happy, that I was going to fulfill most of my dreams. I hope that my attitude does not make me lazy, but I think that while there is an opportunity for me to do all of this work, spiritually, physically, that it will just come.That was a long tangent, so back to the issue at hand. This application is crazy. The required documents and tests are jaw dropping. This list is long and time consuming. Today I really felt like what I make up immigrants must feel like in the states. I felt confused and not treated with respect. I felt as if the things that were taking place would just not be acceptable to citizens, not because they were atrocious but because they just weren’t pretty. We have levels of acceptability, and when I think of what must be accepted for “second class” citizens it sucks. Again, today wasn’t horrible, it just wasn’t comfortable, it wasn’t a situation I would be in if it were not necessary. So after all of today, there is still more. A lot more, a lot of red tape. Most of this is redundant. Most of it is not set up to be smooth or easy. Not every form is available where it should be, and there is not central office to do everything required at, and by the way, I have no car. My feet are tired, I have spent way to much time on buses, and I am so fed up with lines, or the lack there of. There are two types of lines that I have experienced while here. The first is the better of the two, but that is like asking which torture method I prefer, water boarding or Chinese water torture. It consists of an actual line which is great, but people have no qualms about cutting. They will do it and stare you down while they do it. And I have no level of intimidation here, I have no language skills to back it up, or to even say excuse me, I can just sigh loudly which does nothing. I hate it. But the second type is ridiculous. This was mostly what I experienced today. I call it the moth to the flame queue. The door opens, or the woman behind the counter calls out for the next person and everyone just bum rushes to the front. There is no efficiency and there is not personal space. There was a point while I was in my fourth moth to the flame queue today where I imagined myself crouching down and exploding like the incredible hulk does when he changes with all of the people around me pushing into me just flying away from me in every direction as my arms flail and my roar was heard. That was not the case. But man oh man did I want it to happen. I do want to say at the correct bequest of my love that not all Russians cut in line. And not that very Tajikistani cuts or can’t form a line but she was the only Russian in the group today. I am not speaking for a people, just what I have experienced.  So while I still have a lot more “lines” to stand in until I am done with this process it might be all for not. I am in a city that doesn’t have a large demand for the temporary residence permits, especially when compared to cities like Moscow or St. Petersburg, so most of the applications are accepted. That was what I was counting on. What I was not expecting was the shock that as an American they were surprised I was applying for the permit and because I was not from a country that was formerly part of the Soviet Union that I have to meet with the director of Immigration Services and be approved to apply. So what this means is that it is all up to this one guy if I can stay in the country or not. I guess I am just supposed to learn a little more about powerlessness now.

There is so much more going on, and I will keep you updated as much as possible. I really do like the writing once I sit down to do it. Please leave some comments, I would love to hear reactions. It great to be heard!

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